American always do things wrong

Americans always do things wrong (joke)


An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another" trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."
The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

FUNNY AMERICAN UNHELPFUL SCUMBAG TEACHERS QUOTES

1. Teacher: do you think this poem means?
     Student: Blah blah ( after long explanation) 
     Teacher: No thats wrong.

2. Teacher Says this paper is best ever i have ever read.
     but gives only 95% and says No paper is perfect.

3. Teacher: you should not go to the bathroom.... you should have gone during lunch.

4. Teacher : Here is the helpful website on the white copy it into your URL bar.
      
       "http://www.longesturlinthehistoryofmankindsincetimeimmorial.com/someuselessshit32/%20/US/soboring/physicssuckstothecore/stupidpointlesss/asss.html"

5. She requires 3 ring binder.

    but never holes punches in anything.

6.Teacher: Your final answer was correct but you point for not working it out in my specific way.

7. Teacher: "didnt get your papers graded, i teach other classes too"....

                 After Sometimes she says : "You need to finish your homework...i dont care if you have other classes"

8. Teacher: " oh you dont get how to do it... let me explain the exact same way i explained it the first time"

9. Teacher: " If you missed the bell, you missed the class, i dont make the rules" .... " the bell doesnt dissmiss you , i dismiss you"

10.  Student gets right answer on the test. But teacher marked wrong just because you done it differently than she expected.

11.  Teacher asks you " why are you late" then she says " i dont want to hear excuses"

12. Teacher: "oh you cant spell that word" .... "look it up in this book where words are sorted by spelling"

13. " i have graded all your test....but i cant let you see the grade..because one student hasnt taken the test yet."

14. whole class has their hands up...but picks the student who doesnt have the students hands up.


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